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Mandy asks…

would a white preppy girl date a spanish guy who dresses a bit street but is well put together?

i kno how much culture really plays a part in dating but i wonder if white preppy chicks dig guys that are hispanic/black, street but not really hardcore or nothing and a are nice and educated? or do alota preppy girls mostly like preppy guys or white guys that play the guitar n stuff? its really rare to see an interacial couple of diffrent cultures too, example polish mixed american girl with a hispanic/black guy? prep, street? what do u think and what would it look like to everyone?

steve answers:

Hi well I can just see it now all gangsta with greased hair with an arrogant swagger dissing us girls coz we don’t fall at ur feet when u make some gangsta/rapper remark .hmmm?

In other words it all comes down to taste ,for me well OK? ♥

Lizzie asks…

Are your sexual partners from one culture or several?

I’ve dated men and women from a wide variety of backgrounds so I could truly say that I’m quite diverse:

Men I have had sex with:
2 Arabic
2 White British men
3 Irish men
4 Black Carribean
3 Asian men
! Polish

2 Nigerian women
2 Japanese
5 ish American
4 French
1 German
Lots of white and black british women

Do you tend to go for cultural group

steve answers:

People are soo ful of B.S , as along as you are practicing safe sex and you’ re enjoying yourself, F*ck what other people think of you. Its great and really cool to hear you have a rainbow assortment of lovers

Donna asks…

What should be the dominant international language?

Esperanto was created by a Polish guy, L. L. Zamenhof, for the purpose of having an easy-to-learn politically neutral language (i. e. it does not belong to any country) that would foster peace and understanding between different cultures but since WWII this language has been suppressed (the guy was Jewish) and to date there are only a few thousand up to 2 million speakers of this.

steve answers:

Just to comment on Fred’s comment.

>Esperanto. The language contains phonemes that can be very difficult for a native speaker of English to pronounce.

I never had any difficulty to understand native speakers of English, when they speak Esperanto.
Same for USA or British born.

>if you happen to be English or especially American, the language is about as difficult as any romance language to learn.

This is not true. A few days ago I received the 12 lessons and the final test of the basic course from one of my students, within 8 days from the day he contacted me for the first time. He claims that he never studied Esperanto before. Most of my students complete the course in less than 20 hours.

>If I were to undertake the effort, I’d learn a native spoken language of another country.

I did that … First I finished learning Esperanto and then continued learning English, which become easier after knowing Esperanto. Learning Esperanto and another language takes less time than just learning the other language.

David asks…

Should I tell my parents about my boyfriend?

My parents are very strict about pretty much everything. I believe it has to do with my asian culture, and the fact that I am a girl. My brother had so much freedom compared to me (allowed to go clubbing and had his first girlfriend at age 13). I am not allowed to wear make up, even nail polish, and I am not allowed to date! I am 17 and I have a boyfriend, and we’ve been dating for 3 months. I know this is wrong to decieve my parents like this but if I told them I’m sure that things won’t work out well. They know my boyfriend, they treat him like him my other girlfriends, so they’re cool with him being my friend. Do you think I should tell my parents? I’m thinking of telling them in a year.

steve answers:

Tell ur parents its ur life and u can date who u want and live ur
life ur 17 come on ur free now so date who u love in ur life
ur parents cant make ur decision if u want to date u could and
for the last time ITS UR LIFE NOT THERE LIFE

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Your Questions About Spokeo

Linda asks…

I need help with this?

If you google my email address, it has pictures of me on it and I would rather ot have them out in public. It`s on spokeo I think. I there any way I can get my pictures off/

steve answers:

When you google your e-mail address and the pictures show up try right clicking on pics and see if you can delete them. Have you posted pics on a site somewhere? I`m not familiar with spokeo but do you have an account on there? How did pics get there in the first place? If you have an account with pic on it remove the pics. Sorry can`t give more specific help without more specific information.

William asks…

Should I contact a married ex on FB?

I was married to my ex husband when I was very young. I cheated on him and really just did not treat him well at all. I was a teenager and selfish at that point in my life. That was 25 years ago and I have changed allot since then. I have never really stopped thinking about him all this time. I would have contacted him years ago but couldn’t find him. I have been checking FB every few weeks to see if he has an account. He did get a FB a few weeks ago. His profile is private but his profile pic is of him and a woman. I looked him up on Spokeo and they do live together but are not officially married. She looks like the same woman he got with after we divorced. So they have been together for some time now. All I know is I can’t stop thinking about him, I have even had dreams about us meeting. IDK if he would even talk to me but I am tempted to message him. Any one have any advice?
I guess I should have added that I am not trying to mess things up for him. I think I’m still in love with him. I was 16 when we were married and didn’t appreciate how much he loved me. We had allot of things in common.

steve answers:

I would say that IF he has a woman’s pic on F.Book, I’d leave well enuf alone. He put that picture up noting there IS someone in his life at this time. And especially all the more so if you know they’ve been together for a good many yrs. I too wondered about my ex husband I haven’t seen or heard from around 25 yrs. Ago, but all my F. Book is filled with are the people I worked with for 20 yrs. Before I retired. I have only my pic on it even tho I have been with someone for 20 yrs. Now. I do NOT like F.Book & just for the reason of it causing so many couples & marriages problems. The more I hear about them, the more I dislike it & don’t bother with it unless another co worker asks to be their friend. My S.O. Does NOT know I go on F.Book as I KNOW it would cause a multitude of problems between us & for no reason. But he too has heard nothing but bad about it, so I feel it best to leave things as they are. I did however hear from my ex not too long ago. Our marriage didn’t last due to alcohol problems of which he is STILL drinking. I held in for 12 long yrs. Hoping he would get sober as I did. But since he didn’t, cheated on me countless times, left me a few times, I finally accepted it was not going to work, so the last time he asked to come “home” I refused. Now I find he still is drinking & at the moment is spending 1 yr. In prison for 5 DUIs!!! He apologized for all the hurt he caused me & just wanted to “touch base” with me & that’s all. I did reply to his message & told him I was sorry to hear he was STILL drinking & he knew better. I wished him well & reminded him he too could be sober IF he’d just give in to it & quit as I did. But mine/ours was not with any “feelings” for one another as yours would be because you DID/DO have feelings for him. I would give it serious tho’t before I’d take the chance of causing him any problems tho. I’m sure this IS one hard decision to make, especially since you finally “found him” after all this time. I can appreciate how you must feel tho, being torn to do or not to do. IF you have an act. On F.Book & by chance he was looking for you, don’t you feel he’d contact you IF he wanted to?! IF you don’t have an act., why don’t you open one & at least put yourself “out there” so IF he wants, he could contact you IF he wanted. That to me makes more sense…best to you…:)

Mary asks…

How to remove wrong information from directory?

I have a situation going and i don’t know what to do about it…For years I have been getting the wrong mail at my address and getting calls for the wrong person constantly and I was curious to check the White Pages to see if i could get any information for my number and my number was listed but with someone else’s name..Now my number is supposed to be private..Im paying for it to be private..I don’t know who to contact about that…Also someone told me to go to a particular website b/c it had my full address and pictures of the outside of my apartment building…it also had listed that certain people live in my household that actually don’t live here…that information seems to be on many sites..Who should i contact about local post office or something else…Most of the mail I get is for the same people that don’t live here…I am very upset that so much information could be out there on the internet about my household..btw the site i went to that had the pictures of my apartment is called …please if your information is up there too try to get them to take the page down..

steve answers:

Directory entries are very hard to track down and fix since most do not maintain them by themselves. They get them from other services which get them from other services and so on. Go to the site with the wrong information and try to track down where they get the information. For example Superpages gets information from Whitepages. There is a link in Whitepages to change or delete a listing.

₪ ʎəɿʞɹɐq ₪

Daniel asks…

Boyfriend lives in bad neighborhood? I found out via internet.?

He wants me to come over on Friday but I worry that my car would be stolen. It’s a really nice, expensive car. Don’t call me stuck up, I’m only looking out for my SAFETY. According to, this neighborhood is “below average”. I’m just worried. Is it terribly rude to say anything to him? What can I do that won’t offend him?
can’t take the bus. this house is in the middle of nowhere and is over an hour from me in the first place.
Look, this IS a new relationship. Just because he’s my boyfriend, doesn’t mean I know everything about him. It also doesn’t mean I am REQUIRED to know everything about him. We happened to meet on the internet so it’s extremely common for people who meet online to LOOK EACH OTHER UP online. You act like I did something terrible like robbing a bank. No, dear. I LOOKED UP SOMEONE’S NAME ON THE INTERNET. SUE ME.

Just to clarify, we HAVE met in person before, but we have not been to each others houses. There’s nothing wrong with that.

steve answers:

I think your instincts are right.

You don’t say whether your boyfriend has a car of his own. If he does, there’s no excuse for his not picking you up and taking you someplace nice. Making you drive over to his house for your date, and then back after dark, would just not be considerate at all. You don’t have to make an issue of his iffy neighborhood — just tell him that you’re not comfortable driving that far, especially at night.

Hey, if he wants your company, he should do his part. He’s got to do SOME of the heavy lifting here!

You can probably find out more about the neighborhood from real estate people, police records, and even Google Earth if you have access to that.

Sandra asks…

Does Anyone Know How Newscasters and Celebrities Hide Thier Personal I.D.s?

Can anyone tell me how to protect my personal information from others being able to obtain it from the internet? I have recently heard of a website called If you type an average (average being the keyword) person’s name into its search engine you can get ALL of their personal information for a small fee. Even if you do not pay the fee, in most cases, you can find out where they live, including a photo of their home with their car parked outside of their home (including their license plate number). If you pay the fee, you can obtain every detail about the person’s life including; credit, how much money they make, where they work, every internet email address they have, social website I.D.s, etc. I checked on local newscasters and celebrities. Their information does not seem to be available. Also, from a legal stand point, can a website legally provide this kind of information? It seems to me that it is a serious risk and contributes to identity theft. Please, now smart ass responses. I really need some professional advice. Thank you.

steve answers:

You can try

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Your Questions About

Steven asks…

teens, help?

uhh, i was bored, so are there any websites kind of like, or for teens???

other than

steve answers:

Yeah, if you’re under 18 you shouldn’t try dating sites. Meet some one in school. Dating sites cost money and there’s a ton of creepy people on there. Most of the pictures are 5 years old or more and none of the info they put is acurate.

Maria asks…

Should I see him again?

Met him on

Cute pics

Talked via email and phone–great conversation.

Met in person—no chemistry, but I can already sense we would get along because we have a lot in common

A good man, not a jerk

However, I don’t have any chemistry with him and I don’t know if I ever can.

What do you think??

steve answers:

Give it another try…

Betty asks…

Online dating sites… which is better? or

steve answers:


I’ve tried both, as well as, eharmony, and all the free sites.

“You get what you pay for” doesn’t apply to the dating game – at all. Most of the time, everyone who has a profile at a pay site already has a profile at a free dating site. So basically you’re paying for no reason.

I like – completely free to do EVERYTHING. And, they have the most members of any dating site. Which means, you’ll have more profile views, more contacts, more dates, and ultimately a better chance of meeting that special someone!

Hope that helps and good luck! :)

Lisa asks…

Are online dating sites a rip off?

I tried all them. NO luck after two months. NOT even a date.

steve answers:

For the most part yes.

Robert asks…

Palmistry.. Index finger longer than ring finger.. What it means?

in palmistry,
What it means if index finger is longer than ring finger?

Also, what it means if ring finger is longer than index finger

What does it generally means in palmistry..

Coz i logged in a dating website,, and while asking thr form question, they asked this..

What it generally means in the sense of palmistry??

steve answers:

This finger is the Jupiter finger. If very long, it means desire to lead (leadership) pride. Then goes to ambition, religion, pride, fair play, law and order, sensuous appetites. The shape matters also. Flexible, diplomatic courteous…even more according to the phalanges..but you probably don’t need to know that?

The ring finger is Apollo in Palmistry: extra long means-Artistic taste, Love of attention, wish to be famous, and a Good Eye. (extra short, avoids the spotlight, Retiring) Finger itself means Art and appreciation of all things beautiful, need for attention, need to outshine others.

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Your Questions About Plenty Of Fish

Laura asks…

Seriously, is there something wrong with me?

I’m apart of a dating site called “Plenty of Fish” and at first I wasn’t getting any replies or notices, I asked for help and one of the guys claimed that I needed to totally change my apperance. I think he’s nuts and believe that I am just fine, but, what do you think?

Would *YOU* show interest or brush me off?
He said loose the glasses, too. But my eyes cannot handle contacts.

And don’t worry, boys who can’t write out their words aren’t my type. ;)

steve answers:

In my opinion you should change your appearance every once in a while. Variety is the spice of life!
After seeing you pictures I recommend that you would fit a Semi-Goth look perfectly (Look for stores like Torrid or your local Hot Topic). Now I am not saying change who you are, just give your dress up a little nudge!
Change your glasses to a more round and darker tone. Black or Blackish Red to go with your hair. Your body structure and skin tone tells me that a Black and Maroon colored dress would do wonders for you. Also change your perfume and hairstyle to match a new dress or two, let the experts at the beauty salon and perfume shop choose it for you.
Just try it for some fun and see what happens.

Nancy asks…

Can anyone tell me where this pic came from?

A guy on Plenty of Fish put this pic up on his profile. When I asked him to prove that this was his pic, he got very defensive. It has a watermark, but it is unidentifiable. Does anyone recognize the watermark or the man? I’m sure I won’t get any responses, but I hate liars and scam artists and would like to bust this guy!

Thanks for your help. I knew it wasn’t this idiot i was talking to. Some men suck, you know it?

steve answers:

The picture is from a business website cant remember what site but i just seen it yesterday so the guy is a liar or he is a scamer

Donald asks…

Why did Plenty of Fish ( stop using Adsense and start using Atlas Solutions?

POF no longer uses Adsense, they’re using that Atlas Solutions MSN ad thingy. Why? Did Google put a stop to the amount of money POF was making?

steve answers:

I don’t see how anybody on here could know that. You would need to ask POF. I complained to POF about their offensive slogan “We delete anybody unfit to date”. There is nobody on earth “unfit” to date – we are all human beings with the same need for companionship. They have no right to make a decision that anybody is “unfit” to date. I am not letting it go.

Betty asks…

What would a woman think of me? As someone to date?

If you were a woman would you want to date me? Why or why not? A woman between the ages of 23-35.

Here is my plenty of fish profile.

steve answers:

Probably.. But I think you need to grow some facial hair..
Beard.. Mustache.. Why? I like them..

I am much older than the ages listed.. I have wisdom..

Wear a western hat from time to time.. I think you would

look good in it.. Good Luck..

William asks…

I wonder why no woman wants to date me? It hurts my feelings?

I have had a plenty of fish profile for 6 months. Meeting people in person is difficult in the city I live in.

After fixing up my profile still no luck.

If you were a woman would you want to date me? Why or why not? A woman between the ages of 23-35.

Here is my plenty of fish profile.

I just fixed up my plenty of fish profile. I’m curous as what woman think?

steve answers:

“It hurts my feelings” that is a telling clue, right there.

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Your Questions About Search

Daniel asks…

Boyfriend cares but still uses

Okay so what do I do if my boyfriend constantly tells me he cares and treats me great when we are together but a friend who is on recently told me she found him in her search and he was active within 24 hours?? What should I do? I have tried confronting him but he says it was probably a glitch and he only cares about me but it is lurking!!

steve answers:

My boyfriend does that too. And although I think it’s just some dumb “male ego” thing I think it SUCKS. Not only does it make me feel like he’s just waiting for someone better to come along the fact that he lies about it has taken every ounce of trust out of our relationship and I question everything he says and does now. I have tried to forgive and forget but the truth is I dont think I will ever be able to trust him again and its just a matter of time until we are no longer a couple. I keep telling myself I deserve better and I do. So do you. I wish I had some advice to give you but it’s been my experience that ir doesnt go away or get better. I’m sorry

Donald asks…

Would it be weird if I was searching the yahoo personals or and then looked up them up on myspace?

and then contacted them. That way I dont have to pay to contact them

steve answers:

No that’s a good idea because you’re saving money plus people tend to be more open on myspace. They might have diff. Or true information on their profile vs. and you’ll get a good idea of what they’re like and it’ll be easier to talk and meet up that way. See them outside of the straight and narrow dating-online-world.

Carol asks…

My boyfriend of 2 years has a hidden profile? does this mean he is cheating…??? :( ?

I was on my boyfriend’s computer and noticed one of his recent documents was “” I know he used to use tons of dating sites to try and find a girlfriend before we met…but why was it recent?
So I wanted to make sure if was something old so I tried logging on with a fake password…it said the password was wrong, but not the account. So I put in a long line of letters and a fake password and it said that no such user existed.
So obv. my boyfriend has a profile. I tried searching by user, but it said he was probably hidden…
I caught my boyfriend with a different dating website a couple months ago…so I am pretty sure it is hidden…does this mean he has to pay for it? Does this mean he is cheating? Why is it hidden?
Please help and thank you so much!!! :)

ps: He also lied about alcohol/cigarettes/what he was doing many times the past 2 months so I can’t trust him…I cook, clean, give him massages/bjs/sex/compliments…I dont know why he would still have a profile :( He also seems weird if I walk in on him on his computer sometimes…Please help i just turned 20 a couple weeks ago (and he still made me cook dinner although it was my bday)…and he is 26…almost 27. Thanks.

steve answers:

.So why are you still with him if you say he lies and you caught him using a different website 2 months ago? Is he that good of a lay, becaues he sounds like a crappy person….

Get some pride girl, and stop putting up with someone disrespecting you.

Is he paying for the profile on Match? Maybe, maybe not. You do not have to pay to create a profile, only to use some other features.

Does it mean he’s cheating? We can’t know that, although having the profile at all certainly isn’t appropriate.

Why is it hidden? Maybe so he can contact people but he cannot be searched for and found. If you were doing something dishonest, wouldn’t you try to hide yourself too?

Y’know…being single is FAR better than being in a crappy relationship.

Charles asks…

I have a problem using the custom match feature on, I need to find out what I may be doing wrong?

Just yesterday I checked out to test the compatibility I would have with young local single women via the custom search. Prior to this, I had already read all of the FAQ’s that were provided. Yet, after making all of my selections and designating the area I came up with, guess what, no matches! And let me first rule out one possibility, I did make sure that all of the categories available were checked off. I then expanded the location to the whole state and even the whole country to no avail. At this point, I KNEW that there was something I was definitely missing. And after that I used the keyword search but came up with horrible “matches”. So, let me ask you this: do I have to become a member to use the custom search or even suscribe? Do I need a portrait too? If I don’t choose a best answer then that means I will learn more about the site and ask another question later.
I am not paying for the service and am not even a member. Do not misunderstand. You must be implying that I actually need to suscribe in order to have access to the custom search feature. I only ask that you either answer me this by editing your answer or that someone else answer it for you. Someone just tell me what the requirements for being allowed to use the custom search is. Member? Subscriber?

steve answers:

Since you are paying for the service, why don’t you call Tech Support?

Maria asks…

eharmony versus

So i had been using for a little while and then i decided to try out eharmony only b/c of all the hoopla about it hooking up serious relationships which may probably lead to marriage. So far, i’ve had the worst experience ever with eharmony. I just HATE it. Everything seems to be going wrong ever since the very beginning. And i really hate how it doesn’t easily allow you to search for your own matches. When you click on the search for new matches link (if you can even find it in the first place b/c it’s so tiny), it takes foreverrrrrrr to load up. It has crashed my computer several times. I have never been on a dating site like this. For all this trouble, Mr. Right better be on there somewhere!! Has anyone ever been on eharmony and can relate?

steve answers:

I hate them both… Way too many questions and forms to fill out

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Your Questions About Dating Online Scams

Carol asks…

Why should you prefer online dating?

This is for my research paper. Please help me :) please say something about:
1.Social networking sites are also used by people who have low self-esteem. Having online relationship can be ideal for such people. They could have more freedom in expressing their feelings towards another by not having to say what they really feel about the girl/boy personally.

2.There are a lot of dating scams in the Philippines. The probability of meeting somebody through online sites that it could be just a scheme. The authenticity of a person can’t be assured right away. It could be just a scheme for making money by dishonest means.
3.Online Dating Sites are said to be available for everybody, despite their age, gender and status. Minors may be exposed to Online Dating and it could be led to prostitution without the proper guidance of an adult.

Thanks guys!

steve answers:

Uh, dating websites can be used as a good outlet to meet people you wouldn’t normally meet. Let’s say you work in a small office. You work 9-5 and don’t have much time to go out and meet people. There’s a few thousand right with a click of a mouse. But an entire relationship online? It dooms people to never being able to make real social connections…not to mention it’s just weird. There are fakes in real life too, but online just means you are exposed to a lot more of them at a quicker pace. As for minors on dating websites…how would that make them be lead into prostitution? Where is their proof in that? The only thing that it can most definitely get them lead into is a sex based relationship with some loser who can’t get a girl his own age.

Michael asks…

Do ANY online dating sites have real women that aren’t stupid, fat, ugly or trying to rip you off with scams?

Half the girls on these things don’t even pay attention to their accounts or are too fucking stuck up to consider 99% of the guys, and when they do, it’s because they want you to buy into their stupid fake porn site.

steve answers:

Oh ok someones abit pist off, if you want a real women get out into the world, thats right leave your computer at home and go out, you could go speed dating or even to a singles night

Donald asks…

Online Dating Scamming?

How long will a dating scammer spend on trying to scam a person?

Where do most dating scams come from?

Do people date scam on facebook? If so, what are some red flags to look for?

steve answers:

A woman was recently in the news who had been sending someone money on a monthly basis to help a father with a disabled adult son for some 20 years. It was only discovered when the woman herself was becoming somewhat senile and her children stepped into to help her with her finances and discovered she had sent this man thousands of dollars a year and he had no children with disabilities.

A long time ago, I was involved with a group called HSX as a moderator. It was a Compuserve group that focused on sexuality. One of the things the owner of this group was insistent upon was that people identify what sex they were and be accurate. So people could accuse people that they were representing them self as the wrong sex and we would call them up and try to confirm what sex they were. It was pretty interesting what lengths people would go to to pretend they were the opposite sex.

The things we looked for were…posting conflicting information, posting information that seemed to not make sense given other known information, that they said they lived in either very rural places (so no one would know them or try to visit) or in big cities (where they could could easily not know someone else who also lived there), that they seemed to have a script that they followed – certain phrases frequently repeated – like they had a cheat sheet. They also often bragged about things they owned or jobs they had that no one could confirm. (Lots of people working in jobs in security so they couldn’t say where.) Sometimes I felt a bit like Big Brother – and in the end I quit being a moderator because of policies related to people who were transgendered and what sex they should be considered. Sometimes people were being completely honest from their own perspective – so you need to be careful that what may appear to be a scammer may not be.

I think most scammers are either really insecure about who they really are or have simply come up with a plan to try to get scam others out of whatever they have without any concern for them.

Lots of scams on FB – people trying to raise money for good causes that don’t exist, setting up meets with supposed food and drink and special guests when nothing is happening at all. (One of these happened recently near where I live – hundreds of people showed up expecting to go to this popular restaurant with free appetizers and special guests – lines to get in the door – nothing was actually happening. FB scam. Someone was probably watching and getting a hoot out of it.)

George asks…

Is it safe to use a online swinger dating site?

Ok I want to experience something crazy with a woman I wouldn’t normally be with. But I am very cautious person. Is it safe to use a online swinger dating site? I mean what is the risk of being robbed or getting into scam?

steve answers:

Yes, it’s as safe (if not safer) than just picking-up some stranger in a bar. However, you’ll find that as a single male it is very difficult to break into the swinger lifestyle with couples and there are not a whole lot of single females on swinger dating sites.

It’s hard for a single male to break into the lifestyle with couples because there have been so many single males that just “don’t get it” and have ruined the fun for others that come after them. What I mean by “don’t get it” is that they are lecherous and rude and think that just because a woman is on a swingers dating site that they are looking for sex anytime, anywhere and with anyone.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Swingers are people just like anyone else and the same rules that would apply to trying to score with a single girl you met at work or at a night club applies to swinger women, also. The fact is that most swingers have very plentiful and satisfying sex lives at home with their spouse so they don’t need you, but if they have a certain MFM threesome fantasy or they like to play where the wife goes out and is naughty with someone else, than they will be looking for you.

The other thing is that for every couple looking to add a single male to their sex play there are two single males looking for them. Your odds that way are terrible. By comparison, there are 25 couples looking for single women for every single woman looking for a couple.

If you do get lucky and a couple wants to meet you you are going to be pretty dang safe. Most couples will want to meet you in a public place like a restaurant or sports bar, etc. To see if there is any chemistry and if they want to go further with you. Also, some websites like Swingular validate their members as “Real” or “VIP” meaning they have have provided proof to the website owner that they are who they say they are.

I hope that helps. For some good information about being a single guy in the lifestyle, check-out The Swingers Board forums. Believe me, there are plenty of couples looking for a good single guy, so if you can stand-out from the crowd you’ll do well.

Linda asks…

Please help: Is this a common scam at online dating sites?

I am on the dating site eHarmony. The other day I sent a girl an ‘ice breaker.’ The next day, I received an email back from her saying, “I’m going to end my subscription soon, here’s my email and aim address. Hope to hear from you soon.”

At first I thought this was pretty cool, but now I am having second thoughts. I replied to her, on eHarmony, with my personal email and also my aim screen name to give her a heads up when I emailed. I then emailed her a short email from my yahoo email address.

That was yesterday, but I haven’t heard from her nor have I seen her online on AIM. Is this a hoax? Or could she just be busy? I’ve never had this happen on an online dating site before.

steve answers:

Last weekend was a “free” weekend on e-Harmony. She probably doesn’t have a paid membership and wanted a way to connect outside of the site…

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Your Questions About Cougar Dating

Daniel asks…

if dating a younger man is a cougar whats dating a older women?

so, if dating a younger man is considered a cougar whats dating an older women? why do they call dating younger men being a “cougar” thanks!

steve answers:

Presumably they’re called “cougars” because they are looking for “fresh meat”. As for what you call a man, I don’t know. “Panther”?

Paul asks…

Are there any totally free cougar dating sites?

I’ve been to a few but all try to get me to pay for messaging which is annoying. Are there any sites that the sign up is free as well as the messaging, basically there is no paying.

steve answers:

Try a free dating site that offers a different angle to online dating. Best is Friends Match Me dating site. It is completely free. You can find out if other members have mutual friends with you or similar Facebook Likes! Also they have member videos too!

A lot of people say they met their gf/bf through another friend. Friends Match Me helps you do that.

Betty asks…

30 yr old woman with a prof career starts dating a 23 yr old straight out of college. Cougar?

Rhetorical, just wondering what the view of the public is. Is it fair to call a 30 year old woman with a professional career a cougar who dates a guy who is 23 and just fresh out of college??

steve answers:

There is nothing wrong with that. Some people may call you a cougar, but there will always be a few people out there who will criticize you, no matter what you do.

Maria asks…

my mom found out im dating a cougar and shes disappointed how can i make it up to her?

she doesnt like the idea of it
im 22 and shes 35
i really like this woman i dont know for some reason the fact that shes older makes me connect a lot with her. i cant do that with women my age.

my mom just doesnt like the idea of the age gap. and she thinks she using me for fun. althought she is fun.

steve answers:

Your girlfriend isn’t a cougar at 35. She’d need to be at least 40 for that to be the case. A 15 year age difference isn’t a huge thing when people are older but it’s kind of shocking at your age. Unless you don’t want kids there’s no future in it. Just tell your mom that you like this woman because you’re more mature than women your age. Reassure her that it isn’t serious and that you’re just having fun. Your mother is probably worried that you’ll never give her grandchildren if you marry a woman already nearing the end of her childbearing years.

Richard asks…

Any good free milf or cougar dating sites?

Im trying to meet older women

steve answers:

Try a free dating site that offers a different angle to online dating. Best is Friends Match Me dating site. It is completely free. You can find out if other members have mutual friends with you or similar Facebook Likes! Also they have member videos too!

A lot of people say they met their gf/bf through another friend. Friends Match Me helps you do that.

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Your Questions About Matchmaking Services

John asks…

Why is the Matchmaking Service on Sims 2 so horrible?

It doesn’t matter how much money I give to the matchmaker, she’d sometimes give her customer: a cousin or an elder.

Why is that? Even at 5000!

steve answers:

Haha, yes, it took me ages to realise that paying more more didn’t guarantee a better date.

Maybe she is supposed to be like a real life fortune teller, takes your money but gives you nothing of value in return.

Joseph asks…

I just joined an online matchmaking service. Which foreigners are the best?

I just joined this morning and already have over 100 responses. Age is not important but I want to stay in the Philippines. Which nationality would be open to this Americans, British, Germans, Australians? I am educated never married Filipina who has no desire to move abroad. I have personal reason for choosing a foreigner. There are a lot of nice men but I need to know who will really wan to stay in the Philippines. I will not leave my family.
I am sure happy that some people understand a little bit about the role of family in Pinoy culture. Others clearly have no idea what they are talking about.

Just to clarify- I feel more compatible with foreigners because they don’t have the “macho” complex that most of my countrmen have.

I don’t need money. I live in Alabang and graduated from UP Medical School. I have no desire to live in America or Europe as I have family in both the UK and the US.

If I don’t find the right man I might consider going to another country to earn more money but I do not wish to be a nurse, and those are the working visas that are currently available. I am a medical doctor and am already employed as such.

I hope this clears some things up.

steve answers:

I think I see what you are asking.

There are cultural differences in every country. I understand you wanting to stay close to the family, my wife is the same way. She will vacation anywhere I want to go, but she has no desire to live outside the Philippines.

My advice would be not to be concerned about nationality. Instead concentrate on the values that are more important to you. Also recognize that though there are a lot of nice people on those websites, some of them will be scammers who just happen to know what you want to hear.

In example- I assume that you are Roman Catholic. Instead of asking a man if he is also RC maybe ask him what he thinks about the new Holy Father. I think you will be able to tell more from his response than a straight out answer.

Also you need to ask yourself some questions. Do you mind if he ha been married before? Has children? Education Level? Goals? Hobbies? Is he hyper or calm or somewhere in between?

Maybe make a list of things that are most important to you and narrow your list down so you can give those who interest you more attention. Narrow it down to the 10 who match your list closest, then take some time getting to know each. Stick to your list and you will be able to narrow that list down quickly to maybe 5. Once you get there find out how serious they are by inviting them to come and visit you. Make sure they understand Filipino Culture enough to know that there will be a chaperone during courtship. Anyeone can get away to see you within 6 months if he is serious and able. If not you are asking for trouble. So, if all 5 show up then you can observe how they act in person and see who feasible it is for them to court you from their home country. How are they going to earn money in the RP? Are you going to support them? You know how hard working visas are to get. So either the guy is wealthy or is old enough to have a pension.

You said age wasn’t important but think about that. How old is too old? Most of the people from the countries you mentioned are not going to have the income to retire before age 65. Are you ok with that?

I am familiar with Alabang and it is a very nice area. You are looking for a real individual here who is going to be happy living in the Philippines. You can’t tell that until you see how he responds to some of the cultural differences over here. You might even find on this journey a man who is also Filipino and shares your same goals. Certainly not all Filipino men have the macho complex. I realiize that it is part of the culture but I have a brother in law who isn’t like that at all. He isn’t a wimp but he has no macho complex. So what I am saying is follow your current plan with some logic but try to keep an open mind when it comes to every nationality.

I wish you the best of luck

Also check out PLIP to see some western men who are already living in the Philippines. Most members of this Yahoo Group are married so you can gain a welath of information directly from the horse’s mouth so to speak.

Lizzie asks…

If there were a god matchmaking service, what kind of god would you like to have as your God?

steve answers:

A nice God, red hair, likes movies, preferably horror. Knows how to have a good time, doesn’t flood the world, and won’t try to make me kill my son.

Oh and green eyes ;)

Helen asks…

After t months in operation, an online matchmaking service is seeing…?

After t months in operation, an online matchmaking service is seeing the number of new clients rising at a rate of 50 + 2 t new clients per month. How many new clients did they have from months 5 to 8?

steve answers:

Clients rising at a rate 50+2t new clients per month

new clients from 5 to 8 months in operation is integral of 50+2t from limits 5 to 8
which is 150+39=189

Maria asks…

If you hired a matchmaking service and they fixed you up with a transsexual without telling you, would you sue

Also, please state your religious affiliation or lack thereof.

A third-generation atheist

steve answers:

Um yea, considering most sites are not set up for gay/lesbian couples…I read an article on Harmony where they were being
sued by the gay community for discrimination due to the fact that they only has women seeking men, and men seeking women on their profiles…so if I found out that they set me up with a transsexual, you better believe I’d be hopping mad.

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Your Questions About Polish Dating

Robert asks…

Is there anyone who speaks Polish who can help me create a profile for a polish dating site?

I’ve come across what I believe is the polish equivalent of EHarmony ( and was hoping to set up an account. The only issue is that I speak english, and don’t know no polish. I need my account to be romantic and classy, I’m off to a pretty good start but need a little input from someone who has a better grasp of the language. This is what I’ve got so far;
“Hi moje imię jest bum filler, wolę titties i sala zatrzymujący. Adam robi nie robi ten JA po prostu brak widzieć co chłopcy robią”
Any insight you could provide to help me add the finishing touches to this beauty would be very greatly appreciated.

steve answers:

Sorry, but what you wrote doesn’t mean anything at all in Polish. What d’you want to say exactly?

John asks…

What is it called if 2 people are dating from a different countries?

For example if a english and polish are dating

steve answers:


Sandra asks…

girls, what are your experiences of dating Polish /eastern European guys?

and what are the mentality differences compared to the British? I am interested in this as there seems to be more opinions about polish/eastern European girls than guys? and It is easy to stumble upon cliches about French or South American men, but not that many about Polish men.
Any experiences?

steve answers:

I am sure there are nice Poles out there, but the one I dated misunderstood me when I asked him which part of Poland he comes from, and thought I asked to see his pole, which he proudly showed me !!!!

Richard asks…

How do women find men who wear make-up, nail polish, and femine hairstyles sexy for dating?

All this screams gay to me but SO many girls/women date these type of men from rock groups. Like Jared Leto, Carmen Electra, and Prince.

steve answers:

Women like that arent the norm.But other women who are turned on by this, makes me think possible bisexuality or wanting to emasculate males.

Maria asks…

dating a polish guy, need help?

I’m seeing a polish guy who is fab. He has ok english, I have zero polish. The problem is I can not seem to keep a conversation going for very long. I am shy which is part of the problem but I feel like he is doing all the talking all of the time and I’m feeling silly!!! Any tips or advice would be much appreciated

steve answers:

Be intersting
where sumthing cute or just not random convorsation kk

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